3 Seconds of Envy

Yesterday on Facebook, I saw SEVERAL classmates and teachers post selfies of themselves in front of the beautiful masterpiece: "The School of Athens" by Raphael. 

Photo found: http://uploads5.wikiart.org/images/raphael/school-of-athens-detail-from-right-hand-side-showing-diogenes-on-the-steps-and-euclid-1511.jpg

This is one of my favorite paintings ever and right there, all over Facebook, were friends, classmates, and teachers alike taking in that masterpiece in person. And I wasn't there with them.

I was jealous. Not really jealous, but just enough to feel sad about my life for three seconds.

And friends, three seconds of envy can be DANGEROUS--to you, to your heart, to your thoughts, to your soul, to your relationship with God--ALL of it can be poisoned with just three seconds of envy.

That's when I decided to take about 60 seconds to reflect. 
While it is awesome that my friends saw a beautiful painting in person, does that make any part of my life worse? 
No, it doesn't. 

That's when I decided that even though my life often feels pretty mundane, it's actually really beautiful.

Even on my worst days, I go outside and see purple mountains and really green grass--painted and sculpted by the Lord of All Creation Himself! I think that tops Raphael any day of the week.

Be Grateful
If you ever find yourself in those poisonous 3 seconds of envy, STOP and take 60 seconds to be grateful for all of the days that God has made your life amazing in ways both big and small. (Here's a hint: there are billions of ways, whether you see them or not.)

Remember
After those 60 seconds of gratitude are up, remember that person you envied before. Remember that no life dedicated to God is better or worse than another life that is also dedicated to God. You are no better than anyone else, and no one else is better than you. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we all blend into one perfect, holy person--that's Jesus.

Challenge Yourself
The next time that you find yourself in those 3 seconds of envy, challenge yourself! Turn it into 3 seconds of rejoicing in that person's happiness. This is very hard to do, but don't forget that with God, all things are possible. You'll find that you will become just as happy as the other person and then all of a sudden, no one is happier than the other. 

At that point, when everyone is grateful and rejoicing in others' happiness, what do we have left to envy?

Cinderella Mornings

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to waste time? 

I've done some productive things today, but I'll be honest, I haven't accomplished much. I'm WAY too overwhelmed by my task list! All I want to do is snuggle my puppy, eat chocolate cake, and watch re-runs of The Carol Burnett Show.

I call mornings like these "Cinderella mornings." 

You can probably relate--those mornings where you look at your to-do list and become increasingly overwhelmed and then become paralyzed by the tasks before you. And then you start daydreaming, because, let's face it, any state of mind is better than the reality you're facing now, right?

I bet you anything Cinderella was like that (yes, I know she's fictional, stay with me). She'd wake up early in the morning, go about her morning routine, deal with her cranky family members, and get started on a to-do list as high as the ceiling in the house...and by the way, Cinderella will be cleaning every inch of it later on! Yet every now and then, when she had the opportunity, she'd stare and daydream about the castle out her window. "Will I ever get out of this?" she thought. "Will I ever see the day where I'll get to spend just an hour in that castle?"

That's when I think about heaven.

It's that place that we think about all the time.

"What will it be like after I leave the world? Will I have arrows that shoot hearts? Will I have wings and play the harp all day on a ceiling?" (Apparently today's theme is ceilings...) No!

Heaven is that place we've always dreamed of living in. It's the most perfect place there is. I think of heaven as the place where everyone gets to sing together in front of God (kind of like church worship service but you can actually SEE God right there!). It might have a small pasture with a summer breeze and cherry trees, and unlimited access to a library with billions and billions of books (happy, thought-provoking, beautiful books). 

And time with God, lots of awesome, precious, endless time with God. La la la... :) <3

And then I think about the evenings in heaven (that is, of course, if heaven has an evening). I've heard that in some cultures in the world, almost every night for family dinner, someone cooks a fabulous meal and everyone eats and talks about anything and everything for hours...and hours...and hours, on a rooftop, surrounded by growing, fresh, colorful vegetables in the night air. I think evenings in heaven will be like that. People spending time with one another in the most beautiful place imaginable, telling stories, sharing thoughts and memories, and getting to know God more, being completely unified with Him.

Selah.

Yup. That sounds way better than making vocabulary flash cards and studying for tests, but I can still have joy doing those things knowing that I won't be doing them forever! In the meantime, I'm setting aside that time for chocolate cake and t.v. re-runs. :)

"Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created." James 1:16-18 (NIV)

Welcome, 2015

Today I'm still reflecting on 2014. I know I should have done that yesterday, but I don't think it's ever too late to reflect.

Here's what I learned in 2014:

• I learned to be more responsible. It's okay that I'm becoming an adult--adulthood is HARDDD, but it's beautiful. Have I mentioned that I'll be eighteen in only 6 days? (See this post for more about what I learned in becoming an adult.)
• I learned to forgive and to love. I know that these sound like easy things to pick up, but I realized this year that I had no idea how DIFFICULT it is to really love the people around you, and to forgive the people who have affected your life for the worse, big or small. I also learned how to love and forgive myself, which I had to do before I ever accomplished this with anyone else. I learned that I was a little worse for wear, that I still had a lot of hurt that God's been trying to walk me through, and that if anyone is worthy of listening to for opinions and advice, it's definitely God. He taught me how much worth I have and that it's not about who I have been before or how other people around me have done things that hurt. I'm defined by who I am in God's eyes alone and how I interact with Him.
• I learned how to be honest about who I am. I learned that even though I'm a messy human being, it's okay to embrace that messiness. I can do hard things. I can make the right decisions. I can do as I ought. I can do my best without worrying how I'm going to be judged by others. All of these things in the end glorify God, and I was never expected to be without mistakes in the first place. When God said "Be perfect as I am perfect" I believe that he wanted us to do our best. To give our 100%. Just show up. Pray. Love. Forgive. Rest, knowing that you gave it your all and asked God to make up for what you inevitably lacked. Ask for his forgiveness (and don't forget to forgive yourself) in the ways that you will inevitably mess up. Ask God to help you learn, help you forgive, and ask Him to still love you and forgive you. That's perfection. It's knowing that because of God's grace, we are able to be His children who do as we ought. "All beautiful you are my darling, there is no flaw in you." We're flawless because we're His children who have accepted Him. (See this post for more about what I learned in being honest.)

Maybe the reason why I keep looking back on 2014 is because it was kind of a train wreck that I can't look away from. 2014 was probably one of the hardest, yet most beautiful years of my life. It really demonstrated what it means for God to make beautiful things out of the ugliest of messes. 2014 was that disastrous train wreck that showed the ways where I was weak, but it also showed me the ways in which God is strong...and beautiful and wise and perfect and loving. And it showed that He can make me all those things too.

Therefore...

Welcome, 2015. Maybe you're an oncoming, ugly and beautiful train wreck just like 2014. But maybe you're a Christmas present that I wasn't expecting. Maybe you're like a giant fortune cookie that gives me a ton of advice or encouragement that I need. Maybe you're like a roadmap that will show me where I need to be going and the steps that I need to take to get there. And maybe you're a travel guide that shows me just how beautiful each of those places on the map really are if I decide to see them in person.

Dear God, 
I pray that 2015 is like all of these things. I know that I'll have a few train wrecks, but will you help me learn from them? Maybe it'll be like spring, where all of the flowers are ruined by pounds of snow from winter and they'll grow again when the sun warms the ground. 
Will you give me fortune cookies that have encouragement and wisdom and gentle reminders--and yes, even hard, painful, killer reminders? 
Will you be my roadmap--a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path--guiding me where I need to go and the steps I need to take to get there? Will you also be my travel guide and point out the ways in which this life is so beautiful and breathtaking, which I often forget to appreciate? 
2015 is no longer the future. It's the present. And you, O Lord, are the hope for the future. A gift full of bright beginnings with grace and love.
I'm ready for another year, only because you're here to help me through it--just like you were always here to help me through the last one.
Just one more question before we go. Am I still young enough for you to hold my hand?
Amen.

Saying the Wrong Thing

Has anyone else gone through a phase of thinking:

o      "Boy I hope I say the right thing at the right time."

o      "I hope I give the right answer.”

o      “I really don't want to give the wrong one and affect this person's view of me." 

I have said (and sometimes still say) things like this in my head, fearing that what I have to say is “the wrong thing” or “the wrong answer.”

If you do this too, then...

STOP!

I have often heard: "What other people think or say about you doesn't matter. Be you!" But it's easy to forget to apply this message to our own lives. 

I’ll lose sleep over giving “the right answer” to a question from my parent, teacher, friend, etc. asking myself, "What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don't give them the answer they're wanting to hear?" only to discover that they just wanted my best answer, not "the right answer."

Here are the lies we believe when we worry about saying what others want to hear:

o      My thoughts and opinions don't matter.

o      I'm not smart.

o      What people want to hear is much more important than the truth that needs to be shared.

That last point is important, because it’s a HUGE trap we can fall into if we're not careful. 

The Pharisees fell for that trap: “They do all their deeds to be seen by others” (Matthew 23:5a, ESV). They walked around preaching the Law, but they never worried about speaking the truth. It’s no surprise that the Pharisees were angry and offended when Jesus corrected them, speaking the truth in love:

“Jesus called the crowd to him and said, ‘Listen and understand. What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.’ Then the disciples came to him and asked, ‘Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?’ He replied, ‘Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit’” (Matthew 15: 10-13, NIV).

Jesus never stopped speaking the truth just because the Pharisees didn't want to hear it or because they thought it was the wrong thing to say. He cares a lot about what each and every one of us has in our hearts and on our mouths—we just have to be careful that it won’t defile us and our audiences.

You see, we're not always going to be right when we speak, but we're much better off when we focus on giving our best answers and speaking the truth in love.

Read this carefully: 

You shouldn't have to worry about giving "the right answer." Give your best answer. And if you're wrong, then accept correction with grace.

Here is the truth that fights with the lies you’ve been believing:

o      Your opinions DO matter. 

o      You ARE important.

o      You CAN share what you think and what is true without having to worry that people will think any less of you.

Look for the people in your life who:

o    love you for your opinions,

o    encourage you to speak out the truth,

o    and lovingly correct you when you're wrong.

The people who aren't helping you towards Christ will shut you down for speaking the truth and sharing what's on your heart.

Overall, just do your best and be your best. Never stop sharing what's on your heart.

Blessings!

Two Poems Diverged

One of my new favorite movies, Dead Poets Society, mentions two poems that have struck me in these last few days. One is an excerpt from Henry David Thoreau's Walden about why one would go to the woods, and the other is a poem by Walt Whitman called "Oh Me! Oh Life!" which answers the ever-popular question, "Why are we here, in the world, and what is our purpose?"

The reason why I mention these two poems together is that they both attempt to answer this question with two different perspectives.

Henry David Thoreau wrote in Walden:

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear, nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to 'glorify God and enjoy him forever.'"

Thoreau makes a very good point, that we are here to choose life over death, and to avoid the realization at the end of our lives that we had not lived.

Unfortunately, he says that "most men...have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to 'glorify God and enjoy him forever.'"

What a shame, to believe that such a glorious calling is nothing but a hasty conclusion!

If I were to visit the woods, this would be my purpose: to enjoy God and glorify Him. At this season of my life, I praise God every day for the trees. The leaves and their colors are absolutely captivating, and it my heart skips a beat realizing that God made me ruler of all of it (as well as you!); that you and I are in fact the crowning glory of those beautiful colors on the leaves, the constellations in the stars on the dark night sky, and the brightness that overcomes the cold morning air in the sunrise at the beginning of every day: that all of us were made to top those beautiful sights, and to give our glory back to the Lord (2 Peter 1:3-11, ESV).

I disagree with Thoreau: this is not a hasty conclusion at all. I did not come up with that conclusion on my own. It is in fact what I was assigned to do by the Voice of Truth Himself on the day He gave me breath (Jeremiah 1:5, ESV; 1 Corinthians 1:26-31, ESV). It's not a conclusion I made for myself: it's a calling.

I believe that Walt Whitman describes the facts of life much better: that amongst our hurt and pain, our hearts cry out, "Oh me! Oh life!" and "what could I possibly be good for?"

"O Me! O life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring-What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer. 
That you are here-that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."

Whitman knows quite well that we are sad wretches, searching around the earth for an answer to what we are good for, what we were made for, and why we are here, still daring to live. The answer: that we're here! That we are a part of a beautiful story set all around us, and we are important characters in it! And that our lives will contribute a verse to the greatest play of all time.

As Professor Keating very well stated, "What will your verse be?"

The Season of Change is Coming Soon

I was just thinking a minute ago about how seasons sometimes have subtitles.

Winter: the cold season and the season of Christmas, the new year, and even Valentine's Day. (A thought just occurred to me about Valentine's Day. It is a holiday in which we celebrate love, but we celebrate it in the middle of winter--it's cold, nasty, and difficult. Doesn't that in and of itself represent what love is all about? How love is about caring about someone or wanting the best for them, even when it's cold, nasty, and difficult?)

Spring: the season of new beginnings, life, and resurrection. (Obviously, that would be why we celebrate Easter in this season, but we also celebrate Mother's Day, and late into the season, we celebrate Father's Day. We celebrate the lives of those around us in the spring.)

Summer: the season of EXTREME heat, and the season of rest. (I find a lot more pictures of the beach and vacation articles on Pinterest during this time of year, don't you?)

And finally...

Autumn (I like the name autumn better than fall!): the season of change and color.

Autumn is not here yet, but it's coming soon. (Did you know the autumnal equinox is next Tuesday?)

I always think that this time of the year is strange--when we are all ahead of the autumn season. School has started, so all the parents and students are saying, "It must be fall, since we're getting into the school routine and starting sports [and other extracurricular activities]." I have even seen Halloween decorations and specialty costume stores put up. My grocery store is covered with candy bags decorated with spiders and ghoulish faces on them. Halloween commercials are now found on every television channel.

Yet, when I look outside at my backyard, the tree is still green--not a hint of orange, red, or yellow. All the bees are buzzing around flower bushes, the sky is still as blue as a robin's egg, and it's 86º at only one o'clock in the afternoon.

Autumn usually means that I don't have to see ants crawl into the side of the house. It means that I get to enjoy how the wooden fence in the backyard gets wet, dark stains from the hundreds of raindrops and how the cold foggy mist feels on my face after a rainstorm. It means that I can wear sweaters, scarves, fuzzy socks, boots, and blue jeans every single day of the week, and so will everyone else I know. It means that I can bake pumpkin bread with chocolate chips and drink caramel apple cider at coffee shops. Autumn is the season of reading books next to a fireplace, sleeping with extra blankets, and enjoying comfortable walks outside, knowing that it won't be too hot or too cold.

No wonder we are all ready for the fall...but it's not here yet!

Right now is the season of patience. It's the season where farmers are preparing their fields knowing that it will rain soon, and there will be plenty to do when harvest comes. Right now is the season where everyone wants something in their lives to change, and they anticipate it wholeheartedly.

It reminds me of the seasons of life we have with God. How we impatiently anticipate a change that God is about to grant to us, but He hasn't quite decided to do it yet. It's that difficult season of waiting.

Right now in my backyard, it's still extremely hot. The tree is still green, even though I really want to see it turn orange and red. I likely won't see the flames blazing in the fireplace this evening, and I didn't notice any fog or mist in the atmosphere early this morning.

But I know all of those glorious things about the season of change are coming. I trust God that He's going to give us those gifts...in a little while, but not quite yet.

What do we do in a season of patience? What do we do when we're waiting on God to bring change into our lives?

We pray, we breathe, we worship, we meditate on God's Word, and we take in the gifts that He's already given us for right now.

I heard this at church yesterday: waiting on God is not necessarily the same as waiting in line. It's more like how you want a waiter to serve you when you are at a restaurant. Waiting is the act of serving God, not a lack of action on God's part.

The gifts that I can appreciate about my backyard right now is that the tomato plant is still producing yellow and red cherry tomatoes. The tree may not be orange, red, and yellow, but throughout the summer, I've seen it in dozens of shades of bright and dark greens. I've seen tons of squirrels and birds visit the tree and appreciate it more than I have. I have enjoyed the feelings of putting my hands in cold water, and seeing how my face looks when it's sun-kissed.

I still anticipate, but I can still appreciate. And that is the beauty of patience, even when I long for the season of change.

"O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you; I will praise your name, for you have done wonderful things, plans formed of old, faithful and sure. 'Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, that He might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for Him; let us be glad and rejoice in His salvation.'" --Isaiah 25:1, 9b

Saying Good-bye to Peter Pan

I have a confession to make: I get upset, tired, and angry from time to time.

The other day I had a heated discussion with my mom (ok, it was more of a one-sided rant) with me going on and on and on about how terribly miserable I am and how difficult my life is. (I'm sorry to admit that I say stuff like that.)

Then my mom said three words that no child in the history of mankind has EVER wanted to hear from a parent: "Then move out."

I froze. "What?"

"Move out." She went on to say that she didn't exactly mean "Pack your things and get out of this house right now if you don't like it here. Good luck making it on your own." She didn't mean that at all.

She meant that I am pitifully dependent on my family...for pretty much everything.

I'm seventeen, and my habitat has been about the same as it has been since I was ten years old. My parents drive me everywhere, because I do not have a license. I can't go anywhere without having a family meeting and looking at our entire schedule. I can never say, "Hey, I'm going out of the house for a little while," unless I'm going to walk the dog, go for a run, or ride my bike...in the neighborhood.

I hardly ever go anywhere by myself because I usually go to events that my parents have planned for the whole family. Probably the only places that I go voluntarily are the gym, the library, school, church, and youth group. But then, I can't go to any of those places (except the library) without someone driving me (and then a family member usually attends those places with me). I'm at home a lot because I haven't been getting a driver's license so I can go to community college or get a job so I can make friends with classmates and co-workers.

This is my life right now, and the truth is: I've never really been bothered by it until now. I've always been comfortable following my family around like a dog on a leash, being driven everywhere, never having to worry about leaving the house.

My entire life is the definition of DEPENDENCE when my growth as a teenager demands that I find INDEPENDENCE. This doesn't mean rebelling against my parents, it doesn't mean "looking out for #1," or deciding that I'm right and everyone else is wrong.

It means deciding how I want to make an impact in the world, making decisions for myself, learning my own life lessons, and taking steps toward surviving as an individual under God...leaving childhood behind and becoming an adult.

Friends, this is a terrifying mission to accept.

Do you know how birds learn to fly? Young birds spend the beginning of their lives being fed by their mother and never leaving the nest. All they know is that tiny confined space consisting entirely of little sticks, cotton, and leaves. All they know is life with the other birds in their family. When the bird is ready to fly, do you know what happens?

It's quite fascinating: the mother starts to push her child out of the nest. And I don't mean a little shove to say, "If you want, you can go." No! I mean, the mother flaps her wings uncontrollably, kicking and pushing that little bird out of that nest. That's not saying "Hey, if you want, go ahead." That is saying, "Go. Go. Go now. GO! Fly, it's time. Right now. Ready, go!!!"

You know how that little bird responds at first, "What are you doing? Stop! It's too high! I can't! Please, I don't want to go. I'm scared!" Then finally, the mother gives one last push, and this story can have one of two endings: 1) either the bird decides not to fly and falls to the ground, hopeless, and in a lot of cases, dead; or 2) the bird starts to flap its wings and flies away--it soars in the air, leaving its dependence on its family behind, and discovering independence.

The process of independence is a little different for human beings, because leaving the nest and growing up doesn't traditionally happen within a few minutes. One thing I do know now is that I have to stop refusing to grow up, like Peter Pan. It's a great thing to accept adulthood--after all, most of my life will be spent as an adult--that is, if I decide to leave childhood behind. I think growing up will be a great adventure--an adventure that Peter Pan was too afraid to experience.

It will probably be another year or two before I leave my parents' house. I still have to graduate high school, I still need to get a driver's license, I still need to get a job, and find an ambition with which to glorify God (some people call that pursuing a career, but I think an ambition is more than that [this topic may be another blog post in and of itself]).

Now is the time where I begin taking the steps to accepting the challenge of growing up. It's the time where God writes the final pages of this first chapter of my life. Now is when He helps me figure out what's next.

Yes, the words "move on," "move out," "time to grow up," and "leave the nest" are terrifying.

On the other hand, I hear these strong words from God and the people who are ready to support me and cheer me on as I accept the daring challenge of grasping independence:

"You are ready. It's time to fly."

 "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

--1 Corinthians 13:9-13

Photo Credit: http://cartoonsimages.com/sites/default/files/field/image/waltdisney.jpg

So Much Like You (A Poem)

I'm surprised to find myself posting this poem.

I have a friend who is really into poetry, and I've been thinking about writing more poems myself. 

Today, I had a random urge to write a poem....and I came up with this. I haven't written a poem in FOREVER, mainly because I'm really bad at rhythms and rhyming things, and word choices, and iambic pantameter vs. trochaic hexameter,  stressed vs. unstressed syllables, and line lengths, and subtle vs. not-so-subtle symbols, and things like that.

The really cool thing about this poem is that it sort of turned into my own little psalm of praise, and it talks about how awesome it is that we are made in the image of God.

Feedback would be nice, and if you guys would like to see more of this sort of thing, please let me know! :)

So Much Like You

(a poem inspired by Song of Solomon 4:7)

by Hayley Robinson

“All beautiful you are, my darling.

There is no flaw in you.”

Oh, these words are so thrilling,

and how wonderful, that they should come from You.

You, a majestic and perfect God

who loves me for me and never changes.

How often I’ve fought

to never be thought

of as the strangest.

Yet, You have always sought

and have always pursued me.

You, perfectly and amazingly generous and good,

Who knows all things before they occur,

And so often I nod off to sleep,

Falling into a place where all is a blur

And then I forget who I am in You

Until You help me remember.

Without You,

I never could.

All beautiful am I?

Lord, how undeserving of these words am I,

that You of all beings--

You, among all things--

should find me flawless, perfect, and beautiful…

That You should find me

to be

So much like You.

You, who created time and space,

You who put the stars in place,

You who made the world with Your breath and Your word

With Your words and Your breath, O Lord,

You made the entire world!

You of all beings--

You, who are beyond all things--

Created me

So that I could glorify, worship,

and always be

So much like You.

“All beautiful you are my darling.

There is no flaw in you.”

Yes, Lord, I accept it now.

Surely I must be

If my place is to bow

before You.

Surely You created me

to be

So much like You.

And if my place is to be like You,

Then of course, I must be without one flaw,

Even though I’ve broken every one of Your laws.

You’ve so graciously forgiven me.

And each day you give me the chance to be

So much like You.

To breathe,

To act,

To speak,

and to always be

So much like You.

Question for the Reader: Do you like my poem? :) Do you write poetry? Who are your favorite poets? (Any Dr. Seuss, Emily Dickinson, and George Herbert fans out there?)

"And God saw that it was good. Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them." --Genesis 1:25b-28a

Photo credit: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhshZF8qrdMLWw9sm39JB-KRBoOSZqCD5RsjKYadXaZFQ1FG_mDqIt-x1hCZnH0_L0fXbyF6Bkf2TlQ3d98HlAoxGZZIr51wrOXgfqBGeruK7FJ_kFLPE0W4bdGL5Jvru5WQlTtotef7qc/s320/forget-me-not_1.jpg

Where I See Myself in 19 Weeks (and How You Can Help!)

A few months ago for the 30 Day Blog Challenge (which I still have yet to officially finish....sorry), I answered the question: "If I could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?" My answer was Europe.

But I have a confession to make: that was the general answer.

Every summer at my church, several people in the congregation go on a mission trip to an English camp in Eger, Hungary. For several summers, I've been dreaming about going to Eger with my church. Here's what has usually gone through my head: "I really hope to go there someday," or "I can see myself going there in the future." But more recently, I've been praying very hard about it, and the monologue in my head has turned into: "I'm ready to go to Eger this summer. And it's only 19 weeks from now. I'm sure I'll get there soon."

Here's some info about the English Camp that our church missions group will be going to:

The campers in Hungary are people my age: mostly teens, but specifically, they are young people from the ages of 12 to 21, and a lot of them don't know Jesus because of the gypsy cultural influence in their community.

When I think about my own life and background, I know that I am very blessed. God worked in amazing ways so that I could have several opportunities to know Him more. But then, there are plenty of kids out there who don't have the same background as I do, and while God has a perfect plan for them, I know that I can use my gifts and abilities to help them find out what theirs are in order to serve God, too.

I have three objectives in going on this trip:
1) To share the gospel by way of getting to know the kids and sharing my testimony with them.
2) To teach teens about a language that they are interested in, which also happens to be my native language: English.
3) To get to know the teens in order to establish friendships with them, so that they can get better at their English by communicating with a native speaker such as myself, also, so that they can know more about American culture as I also get to know more about Hungarian culture, and that they may be led to Christ by the example of all the missionaries coming to the camp.

Here's the downside: this trip costs money. In order to raise enough, I'm going to need some help. If you are interested, here is a way to start:
Buy a t-shirt! White Fields Community Church (the church I attend), for the very first time, is selling t-shirts, and all of the proceeds go to missions. Plus, they come in multiple different sizes and colors! If you're interested in buying one, check out this link: https://squareup.com/market/white-fields-community-church (P.S. All you have to do is click on whatever colored shirt you want in the middle of the page, pick the size, and buy it! Careful, though, at the bottom of some screens, you might find ads that say "You Might Also Like," which don't belong to the church.)

Within the next few weeks/months, I'll probably come up with some more ideas for people to help, but for now, if you have any questions, please let me know, and please consider buying a shirt for the missions team! :)

Another way to help in a big way is to pray. Here is a list of things that I'll need to prepare for this trip, and a list of things that the camp and the missions group will need prayer for, as well.

Please Pray for Me as I Try to Accomplish These Things in Preparation for the Trip:

• Applying for and getting a job in the near future
• Getting my very first passport, and making sure preparing to fly overseas goes smoothly
• Preparing my heart and mind to be a useful missionary and to help the missions team

Please Pray for My Church, the Camp Leaders, and the Future Camp Attendees as Camp is Coming Soon:

• All of the other people on the church missions team will have their hearts and minds prepared to minister the camp attendees in the way that God sees fit
• The camp leaders will have clear minds to have as much prepared that's necessary
• The future camp attendees will have open ears, minds, and hearts to learn English in a way that is the least frustrating and most beneficial to everyone
• Many of the future camp attendees will come to know more about Jesus and accept Him as Lord of their lives

I hope that I will be able to go, but in the meantime, I'll be praying that this missions trip goes according to God's plan, and turns out wonderfully, with or without me. If it is the Lord's plan that I go this year, please pray that I'll be able to use my gifts and experiences to minister in a way that is pleasing to God and brings more people to Him.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support!

Don't forget to check out the link above for a t-shirt! :)

Questions for the Reader: Have you ever gone on a missions trip? What was it like? Do you have any advice about missions for me? Do you have any advice about traveling out of the country?

"For, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!' But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, 'Lord, who has believed our message?' Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. But I ask: Did they not hear? Of course they did: 'Their voice has gone out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.'" --Romans 10:13-18

Carry On, Warrior

It's February 6th, and some of you are probably wondering where the monthly resolutions post is. Instead of making the goals that I normally do, I realized an overall life goal that I think is more important to focus on for now.

More than ever, I've felt the pressure about answering the questions: "What's next? What am I going to do in my life? How can I do something that can benefit the world and glorify God?"

I'm feeling the pressure of these questions mostly because it's registration time, which means that I need to be thinking about what classes I need to be taking for my senior year, which makes me think about college and beyond.

...and it's scary. Very scary.

Then I saw this video with my mom two nights ago: a TED Talk from Glennon Doyle Melton about what she learned about herself, the world, and superheroes at a mental hospital:

One quote from Glennon's blog stuck with me:

"The world doesn't need more 'strong' superheroes hiding the truth of who they really are beneath the capes of perfection, shame, cruelty, snark, addiction, or apathy. We need more plain old 'weak' people who are brave enough to come out of hiding. We need more messy, honest, fully human beings who will volunteer to tell the truth about who they are--who will live shamelessly out in the scary, messy world. It is braver to be Clark Kent than it is to be Superman. Carry on, Warrior." 

I was in my Omnibus class this morning after pondering these things, and the teacher asked if anyone would like to write on the board, basically acting as secretary, taking notes of what was being discussed. After several moments of silence, I decided to be the one to raise my hand.

Who knows why, but right then and there I got the exact encouragement I needed. One of my classmates immediately called me "Hayley the Brave."

Goodness, I thought, what a name. Surely I don't deserve it, just because I raised my hand to volunteer. Royalty, knights, and saints deserve those names, but surely not me. 

And it wasn't until just now, as I'm writing this, that God reminded me that as a child of the One, True King, it's ok to proudly wear a name like "Hayley the Brave."

TO BE CLEAR: I'm not saying that I want all my friends to now call me something that formal on a regular basis, because I like the simple name of "Hayley" that I have now, and it would be weird to be called that all the time.

All I'm trying to say is: I think all of us are more qualified to wear names like "Victorious Heroine" and "Hayley the Brave" if we decide to be a Clark Kent instead of a Superman, to be honest, kind, loving, and gracious, to be a warrior fighting against the "capes" and worldly temptations, and to represent and glorify God in all these things, as well as helping and encouraging others to do the same.

Now that's a resolution.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." --Ephesians 6:10-20